Here’s a bullet point list with random facts about me for you busy, information-byte-inclined people with precious little time to read about how neat I am:
• My full name is Leif Even Pettersen. ‘Leif’ sounds like the word ‘life’. ‘Even’ sounds like the name ‘Evan’. ‘Pettersen’ is with the ‘pet’ sound, not the ‘peet’ sound. It should go without saying that no one has ever spelled or pronounced my name correctly on the first try.
• Even though my family came over from Norway like six generations ago, I’ve been blessed with a just-off-the-boat, Norwegian name. Every time I meet someone new, I have to explain that ‘Leif’ is a traditional name that means ‘beloved son’ and that, no, my parent’s were not hippies. Well, actually they were big-time hippies, but that’s not why I’m named ‘Leif’. This speech is very well rehearsed now, with exquisitely timed throw-away jokes and pauses for the laughter to die down. During this speech, so that it doesn’t run too long (like this explanation), I have a tendency to just say ‘I’m Norwegian’, much to the exasperation of people actually born in Norway.
• I’m 38 years old.
• I look 25-28 depending on how hungover I am.
• I am originally from Minneapolis, Minnesota.
• I have been a struggling travel writer since June 2003.
• I’ve just finished my second assignment for Lonely Planet, coving large parts of Tuscany for Tuscany & Umbria 5
• I have recently re-settled in Minneapolis after over four years of homelessness, during which time I lived in temporary residences in Cadiz, Spain; Iasi, Romania; Torregrande (Oristano), Italy and Torricella, Italy (between extended periods of traveling like a bastard).
• I retired from the Federal Reserve Bank of Minneapolis at age 33, after nine years of semi-dedicated, fickle service in a variety of positions, eventually focusing on electronic payments systems.
• I have been a juggler of varying degrees of dedication since age 12, making me the most coordinated and dexterous person you’ll ever meet (unless you meet a better juggler).
• I have what I refer to as a Selective Photographic Memory. Examples:
o I can’t remember the name of my hostel, but I can repeat, verbatim, a conversation I had 15 years ago.
o I am terrible with names, but I never forget a face.
o I can’t remember the brand names of wines that I drink three times a week, but I can memorize lists of foreign words and phrases with very little effort.
• I like chocolate.
• I type with exactly four fingers: thumb, index and middle on the right hand, middle on the left.
• I can escape from a straitjacket in less than a minute.
• Yes, really.
• Don’t ask why I can escape from a straitjacket in less than a minute.
• On an unrelated note, I can never go back to Singapore.
• I am a bit of a language nut. I have studied German, Norwegian, sign language, Romanian, Italian and Spanish, only the latter three of which I can utilize with any effectiveness. Next on my list is French. Or possibly grammatically correct English, but I doubt it.
• I have never taken a writing class.
• I’m longwinded and I don’t care.
• I smell really good. My sweat has aphrodisiac properties so strong that it could make giant tortoises mate.
• I’ve worked as a juggler, actor, college radio DJ, wedding DJ, switchboard operator (twice), home office sales guy at a lamentable electronics store that rhymes with ‘Dest Duy’, ESL teacher, administrative assistant, electronic payments helpdesk agent, electronic payments application specialist, electronic payments business analyst, electronic payments high speed network analyst and bumbling, yet adorable travel writer.
• Still reading? Well, it only gets more obscure from here.
• I am the best parallel parker I have ever seen.
• I was born with a tracheal-esophageal fistula (my esophagus was damaged and I couldn’t eat). It was repaired that same day and now I have a gnarly scar on my back that I tell people is from a machete injury.
• Innie
• Will rap for food.
• An informal poll taken in Malaysia and Thailand revealed that nine out of 10 people think I look like David Beckham, which is good enough for me.
• If you’re still reading, you may be searching for my email address, so here you go:
Emails from groupies and people offering (paying!) work are given all due priority.
February 27th, 2007 at 2:12 am
Wow…I discovered your website during travel voting (yeah, I did cast a mark your way) and have been perusing your wonderous words over the past few days. Hope you do get a book deal as I would love to read more. Your ramblings and musings remind me a lot of one of my favorite books “Holidays in Hell” by PJ O’Rourke. (Intended compliment .)
a new fan,
reen
August 22nd, 2007 at 12:19 pm
wow, that is a very Norwegian name :-) How is your Norwegian lessons coming along? :-) You have an extensive list of travelogues on you page http://www.leifpettersen.com/ . No offense…but you should try to brush up the layout a bit to make it more “sexy”. Happy travels :-)
Regards
Gard
Stavanger, Norway
August 29th, 2007 at 10:51 pm
met you with a friend of mine (and yours from fed res) in downtown mpls, you gave me your card and had not looked up the site till now. very impressed, love your writing(s). currently caring for a patient from romania, difficult to feed…wants lemon juice in vegie soup, lemon or honey or applesauce in water, tomatoes, baked potato every meal, etc…has beliefs re health benefits of sweet vs sour. i like her. thanks for sharing your business card, i enjoyed your site and will keep as you’re extremely talented. keep on.
September 18th, 2007 at 7:08 pm
Hi, Leif,
I work with the U.S. Department of Transportation, which has just launched a public awareness program called SafeTravel. In keeping with your site’s theme, sort of, SafeTravel’s first public awareness push is about traveling safely with batteries and battery-powered devices.
Take a look at http://SafeTravel.dot.gov. You may even find some of these handy in your own travels.
We’d love to be linked to in your “links” area, and would also appreciate any further mention you could make of this public awareness campaign.
Sincerely,
Dan Halberstein
Office of Hazardous Materials Initiatives and Training
Pipeline and Hazardous Materials Safety Administration
September 21st, 2007 at 4:15 am
hi!
this is Merdina,a groupie writing!I really like the things you write and the way you look.How about including Athens in your travelogues, so that I can provide valuable information, plus treat you to Greek spirits, like OUZO? Anyway,I really loved how talented you are and just like to mention,you just met your match in talent and looks. Personal info:English teacher, travel freak, great at finding parking spaces even outside the busiest streets in the world, world-famous for clumsiness and humour!
Bye-bye!
October 7th, 2007 at 8:12 pm
your writings are great. “driving in Romania” was very useful prep.
My son and I plan to drive around Romania for 5 days during Thanksgiving week. We’re from Florida. He manages a restaurant and I’m a management consultant. any advice for us Leif?
October 28th, 2007 at 3:53 am
I do believe your many postings have attracted new fans…if Dan is for real, then you now have a GOV name/link that might prove useful at some point in time (like getting back into Italy!).
October 31st, 2007 at 12:41 am
Dear lord, I just spent 3 minutes wracking my brain to think of an electronics store that sounds like Dessdooey.
Hope all is well Leif! Welcome back to the land of double wide shopping carts, Paris Hilton and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
I’ll write soon. It’s been too long.
November 10th, 2007 at 5:35 am
I want to be you.
Seriously.
November 14th, 2007 at 1:47 pm
Hi, just found your website via another which was about climing Mount Kinabalu, I wish I had found these websites BEFORE going to Malaysia as I was convinced by people I would not be able to manage the climb or altitude so we stayed around our very nice hotel in Kota Kinabalu but next time DEFINITELY will at least attempt the climb as it sounds really worth the effort and a real achievement, though I suffer from vertigo very badly I would try it anyway. Had a hideous journey back to Heathrow, as our late flight from KK aiport was cancelled meaning we missed our connection back from Kuala Lumpur and had a flight finally allocated to us from KK about 11 hours later, luckily the connecting flight from KL was really empty so we were able to stretch out on 4 seats, down side to this was that something on the seats or blankets bit and bit for the whole 13 hours! Have decided that in future I will try and avoid 2 flights together - apart from the fact I have booked to go riding to Patagonia in February - 3 flights each way…. What made the delay experience ok was the company of another UK couple we happened by chance to be flying with - they were so nice and amusing and cheerful it passed the time nicely.
I too love to write, have sent off 2 articles recently to in flight mags / UK magazines, to see what they might accept - no luck so far but still writing Amazon reviews and moving rapidly up the ranks - at least I can see something in print -and now they have introduced “comments” I have had a few nice ones! and now at least they send me books FREE to review every month!
your website is favourited - glad I came across it!
Julie
x
November 15th, 2007 at 9:38 am
Hi Leif,
Just found your site and have enjoyed reading your writing, keep it up and best of luck with everything.
Sean
November 26th, 2007 at 3:13 pm
loved reading your travelogue. keep the off beat tempo!
November 29th, 2007 at 3:30 pm
I would have to dispute the ‘best parallel parker’ claim, as I believe that honor belongs to me. In fact, if I were ever in the Miss Universe competition, that would be my talent: Parallel parking a stick shift car, with the windows fogged up, a hot latte in one hand, and NO cup holder. I would TOTALLY win.
Great site by the way
December 4th, 2007 at 11:33 pm
I have thoroughly enjoyed your pages on Romania. I was stationed in Iasi back in 1987-88 as a Fulbrighter, and I was searching the web to find how the city is faring these days. Luckily, I found your fiesty take on life there and elsewhere in Romania. Admittedly things have come a long ways since I froze in my apartment without hot water back then, but the same foibles of everyday life in Romania remain, if I am reading you correctly.
Since I am a college administrator and English prof, I believe I can write with some authority that you should not worry about “ungrammatical” English in your writing. You have a fine ear, and you keep your audience interested. Have you spent much if any time in Constanta? I haven’t yet seen your notes on the Black Sea coast.
Best,
David
December 11th, 2007 at 9:16 pm
do you have any video of your trips?
being a tour guide?
December 13th, 2007 at 10:24 pm
Leif,
I was surfing thru another travel blog, Conor’s mildly thrilling tales, when I saw your link on his. So far I have only read as far as your personal info page and its hysterical! I was in Prague this summer for 5 days and I had a blast. I will return next year I hope…so much still to explore.I look forward to your posts. Good Luck and keep posting.
Amanda
January 19th, 2008 at 7:33 pm
Why can’t u ever go back to Singapore?
January 24th, 2008 at 10:22 pm
Is that your Good Luck Ass on the pic link?
Leif, you’re such a whore.
;~)
January 27th, 2008 at 4:45 pm
Hi folks,
Thank you for all these comments. I apologize for not answering any of these. Out of sight, out of mind, you know.
For those that asked questions:
David – Thanks for reassuring my grammar concerns. I don’t even wanna think about what Iaşi must have been like in ‘88. You should have gotten some sort of bonus scholarship for that trip. I’ve been to Constanta twice: once for the beach, once while researching the guidebook. Good food, nice walking in the center, reasonable beach down at Mamaia if you walk far enough away from the families. Nightlife wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. Drinks were more expensive than the south of France. They’ve got cojones to charge those prices, esp when the beaches just south in Bulgaria are in better condition.
Janas – Sadly I have never traveled with a video camera. I already haul around too much tech. No space for one more expensive hunk of plastic and circuit boards.
Cindy – I’m not sure where to start…
Jamie – You’re just figuring this out now?
February 6th, 2008 at 11:40 am
Leif,
Cant remember where I saw the link to your website, but am sure glad I did! You are full of ‘life’, extremely hilarious, blatant in marketing yourself and very good at writing. Whenever I’m in one of the tired low moods, I come to killingbatteries.com
Saw your ‘vblog’ on making omelettes - you have my full vote on hosting TV travel shows. Good luck:)
February 27th, 2008 at 6:09 pm
Cute and funny..the whole package. I also might own your Romania/Moldova book- gotta check. I think I might be cyber-in love…:)
February 27th, 2008 at 6:23 pm
Hey Leif,
Thanks for clearing up who you are because I had no idea. Now can we make exquisitely beautiful Romanian-Norwegian babies together? Roxanne (in Romanian Ruxandra)
April 24th, 2008 at 5:19 pm
Greetings…
Of all the strange places on das Intarweb for me to end up…one minute I’m searching for haikus about midget porn (honestly, I don’t recall for what I was searching, so I just aim for cheap shock value), the next thing I know I’m reading about a guy I haven’t seen since the 6th grade who is living the dream (well, one of mine, anyway) and snarkin’ it up.
I was that smart-ass girl (who am I kidding, I’m still a smart-ass) who used to play pirate ship with you & Big Bad Dykes, if that rings any bells. What can I say - I, too, suffer from a persistent memory.
It is quite refreshing to find someone who can actually write and may be as relentlessly hilarious as I am. I predict that I’ll spend many a boring conference call here, pretending I’m somewhere much more compelling.
-J
May 30th, 2008 at 4:25 pm
I’m in Chisinau, Moldovia right now visiting my friend’s parents (The German Ambassador to the country) and I’ve got a couple of additional tips and comments.
#1: Cab drivers are corrupt. Do not get in the cab before you have negotiated the price. Even if you speak no Moldavian then point to a map and have them write the price on a piece of paper. Whatever they write down kind of laugh as if they insulted you, shake you head and write down half of whatever they offered. They will counter again and meet them halfway (that is usually about the true cost of the cab). Also, if you are at a bar, restaurant, hotel, etc…. tell them where you are going and negotiate the price ahead of time. This is the only way to get the real price (for natives).
Also, if for some reason you don’t take the advice and hop into the cab anyways, they will try to rip you off, but you can actually still negotiate. I was drunk and forgot to negotiate the other night. The true price should have been 30 lei, but the guy wrote down 100 lei. I shook my head, laughed at him and wrote down 30 lei. We settled on 40 lei. You can still negotiate even afterwards but I don’t recommend it.
#2: You asked about how there are nice cars in Moldavia and some signs of wealth in the poorest nation in Europe… I asked the same thing to the former economic and trade minister 3 nights ago. He told me that many people work abroad and send money back, which is in turn spent thus explaining the general signs of wealth. The nice cars are from business owners (many expats are here), diplomats (the plates are so obvious like in the US, and some organized crime.
#3: Some other general tips: Don’t cuss in English because many (more than you expected) know what that they are bad and even if you are cussing casually, they will think the worst.
June 6th, 2008 at 7:28 pm
Hi Leif, stumbled across your website while searching In Your Pocket for god knows what…living the expat life for the first time in *drumroll please* Bucharest…yeah, picked the short stick.
I thoughly enjoyed the writings about the Swines..ahem, I mean cops. I wish I were as clever as to pull your prank, however I saw what a Romanian prison looked like on our way toward Bulgaria, and when the police officer pulled us over, first thing that came to mind was, “And how do I pay this ticket, at the station near me, or can I just give you a few lei? (*while batting eyes of course*)”…he is now relaxing in his paid-for-pool. Damn swine!
Thanks for the entertainment, and I totally believe you were attacked by a machete, it sounds so much cooler.
Brandie
a newbie groupie